October 2010
1 post
for you.
Sometimes, I dream of you hiding tents in my trunk. Surprising me with pancakes in the morning, and singing songs to me while we shower.
And then I wake up. And I see your smile reflecting in my mirror. at a blink of an eye, I make my bed.
February 2010
4 posts
the jerk/j.mcdaniel
Hey you, dragging the halo-
how about a holiday in the islands of grief?
Tongue is the word I wish to have with you.
Your eyes are so blue they leak.
Your legs are longer than a prisoner’s
last night on death row.
I’m filthier than the coal miner’s bathtub
and nastier than the breath of Charles Bukowski.
You’re a dirty little windshield.
I’m standing...
December 2009
2 posts
My Life According to J.Grant.
My ego could swallow the world whole. It’s always a race. I have something to prove every fucking time I open my eyes, and all I want to do is just move slow, and walk lightly. It needs to quiet down.
“You are told a lot about your education, but some beautiful, sacred memory,...”
– Dostoyevsky.
November 2009
2 posts
life is good.
replay.
October 2009
1 post
the baby that lived.
dextrocardia. on time and underweight, i was born with my heart on the right side of my body. one lung refused to open, the other overcompensated with a hearty cyst. doctors said it was emphesyma, pneumonia, influenza combined. 3 months young my parents were given a choice. operate with high chances of losing a newborn. refuse operation and gauranteed death before 15. mom agreed. dad signed the...
September 2009
2 posts
facebook chat.
Neider: tell him he looks hot.
or make it a bit more obvious ur checking his ass out or something hahaha
Katy: haha well i did.
he doesnt have much of a butt.
oh wait.
wrong guy.
August 2009
2 posts
i’m not worried. i’m happy.
July 2009
2 posts
“Just for future reference, because I feel like I should end saying something...”
– I found this recently. And it served it’s purpose. So thank you.
save your aim conversations. print them, and hide them in the crevices of old textbooks. dig them up in your attic years later, and take note of your growth. look at personas from different angles, make sense of things, and be greatful that you weren’t able to make sense earlier.
June 2009
2 posts
so true. HAHAHAA
textsfromlastnight:
(815): I haven’t shaved so I have to behave myself. I’m going to do this from now on.
i served you your manhood on a silver platter, teaching you the art of air hockey and race car games. secretly, i thank god for breathing over my shoulder. conveniently, my gas tank is empty.
in the mobil parking lot, i kiss sober for the first time in years.
it is sweet and lucious, until the loudspeaker begrudingly interrupts.
“GET A ROOM!”
can’t blame him. we kiss like...
May 2009
3 posts
why hello, cloud 9. pleased to meet you!
apologizing never sounded genuine from a liar's...
driving through town the air smells different. the colors are brighter. emerald green has erupted all over my street under a blanket of mist and fog. the music through my car stereo sends me back to what seems centuries ago.
on my 17th birthday, my friend hosted a party for me at her house. you brought me a bottle of malibu coconut rum and broke it on its journey form your hands to mine. that...
April 2009
6 posts
“rule #1: never go to bed angry.”
last session.
i must accept the past in it’s entirety. i must accept not only the bad, but embrace the good as well.
suppressing memories takes more effort then to allow them to flow. acceptance will make them less painful, and simply parts of your past.
fear must be faced. if it is not, it will simply gain more power and thrive on itself. fear must be faced to move on so that it is no longer stunting...
Dear Man Whose Marriage I Wrecked
brianomnidillon:
nightmarebrunette:
If it’s any consolation, when your wife took me
in her mouth, I closed my eyes and pretended I was a piece of wedding cake. I was the instigator, bringing her flowers so often her co-workers nicknamed me carnation hands. At night, I’d look at the stars and slither my petals through her hair. It was like we were on Mars—me staring over her skull at one moon,...
“I smell gooooood.” - Vera.
“Me too… Wanna smell each...”
cappuccino.
driving on the van wyck scares me. overhead are rows and rows of roads, intertwining over and under each other. i can’t help but look up and hope i dont hit anything in between blinks. i used to be amazed at how you could spiral through the ramps, zip through lanes with music blasting. one time you taught me to pump gas. i can’t help but push that memory out of my head as i see the...
March 2009
6 posts
this is why he left you. because it's always about...
and we learn as we age, we've learned nothing.
sleepless nights and wrinkled sheets. tossing in my sleep, i dream. bumper cars and ferris wheel seats dangling under a blanket of stars. the moon shone bright that night. the three of us were driving aimlessly on sunrise highway, until we saw a sign that read: “CARNIVAL: nassau coliseum 4 pm - midnight”. we already had a magic lamp with us. rubbing it, the genie granted us our...
feeling an obligation to explain myself.
i hate that.
“whatever people say i am thats what i’m not”
– arctic monkeys.
listen to ‘em. one of the few bands mainstream with spunk.
reunion
waking up at 4:45 am, my mind is fighting my body to get up out of the comfort of my bed. i borrowed myself in the gap cushioned between two mattresses of my sofabed. my sister, sleeping soundly beside me is curled up in fetal position with her arm over my back. the second alarm goes off. BINGHAMTON. GET UP OR YOU WON’T MAKE IT. the warning on my phone is unnecessary. my brain is already...
February 2009
5 posts
Cocktail Waitress with No Balls.
Grey Goose Martini Drinker,
You accidentally spilled your drink all over yourself ironically after you declined a second. Whipping out a benjamin out of thin air and telling me I’m beautiful gets you far. You are sweet, drunk, and handsome. It makes me blush inside thinking about it, but I put on my best bartender act, my synthetic confidence set at max level. I regret having to work, and...
Vera.
Come home already. I have no one to boss around and I’m bored without you nagging me.
it's good to be home.
CrouchinMonkee9: we also have to do more stuff
CrouchinMonkee9: so our friendship can grow
YO pelvis: like a chia pet
CrouchinMonkee9: lets water it!
taz.
he rolled into the bar today with a black shopping back filled with candy, lotto tickets and cigars.
i gave him my best pageant smile. “hi! how you doin?what can i get ya?” a bud draft. i smelled his b.o. i grab the coldest pitcher glass i’ve got… it’s been waiting for his chapped lips to kiss it for a good 2 hours in a tub of ice. i leaned the glass, poured the...
January 2009
1 post
oy.
i feel like i am in a bad relationship again.
December 2008
8 posts
vera won't let me type more than this.
everyone should watch family home videos with their families when they are home. today, i laughed until my stomach hurt, and my grandma has discovered the sheer amusement of watching herself move in fast forward.
“LOOK AT ME GO!” .. oh babushka. <3
“I will shut up whenever I feel like it. I have a bachelors degree, that is what...”
– David Sedaris.
[ Great speaker. I hope someone recorded him! ]
“I think that you have made a very wise decision to go to school here. You have...”
– My father.
[I could never imagine hearing those words from my dad — someone who has always accused me of being selfish, for abandoning my family and moving hundreds of miles away. I have always felt guilty… until today. He said I made a good decision. That was the best part about...
hard candy inspired.
how many girls do you have to fuck over until you start to feel something between your ribs? how many thrusts does it take for you to feel like a man? you can’t even get it up when you are sober. show no mercy. this is not some other angry girl entry who cant get what she wants. this is a spark. that some neurotransmitter went off in my brain to make this electricity pour through my veins...
oldy but goody
dog days of summer
i stroked a heatstroke unto your ice cream cone. under the heat of your covers it melted and dripped unto my sticky fingers. sweeter than ben and jerrys. your heat wave, takes my breath away. in the dog days of summer we intertwined our bodies. my yellow teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini oozed off along with my sunscreened dignity. as your tongue brushed barbecue...
for a stranger
somewhere, in the gaps between your teeth
beneath your nailbed
inbetween your batting eyelashes,
at the pit of your hair follicles
in the synapse connecting your nerve endings
you
will always find me.
i will make room for you in between heartbeats
as it prepares for the next contraction.
the milliseconds separating syllables
tucked in my kneepits and
in the cavities of my fingerprints
...
i just want to be okay today
What do you do when you’re heart and your mind on opposite poles? When you are constantly in an internal battle between what you want and what is right, confusing yourself with what really is right and how everyone’s right could be another one’s wrong?
How do you forgive and forget when everything on paper tells you not to? How do you stop being foolish?
To lie to yourself or...
November 2008
15 posts
“Surround yourself with quality people. Some people are toxic, push them away.”
– Dima.